Emma Reese Ivie

Emma Reese Ivie

Born: January 28, 2011 at 9:15 a.m.

Weight: 7 lbs 9.6 ounces

Length: 21 inches

Friday, January 28, 2011 was one of two best days of my life (the other was the birth of Ryan) and also the worst of two days of my life (the second was the day following). I am able to recount the events of those two days and the days since because I am snuggled up on the couch at home with my healthy baby sound asleep next to me . This past Friday and Saturday I wasn't sure that in a few days we would be able to take our sweet girl home. I didn't even know if I would be able to make it to Sunday. Here is the story of Miss Emma Reese's birth and difficult first few days.

Thursday night I didn't sleep a wink. I was so anxious for the next day that no matter what I did (take a warm bath, swallow two Benadryl, crawl into bed at 10) I could not turn my thoughts off to sleep. I was upset that Chris would not come to bed with me. I was sure that I would be sound asleep and he would wake me when he decided to lay down. An hour later when he crawled into bed I was staring at the ceiling with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song repeating in my head ("Hot Dog. Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog"). I knew then that I was not gonna sleep. Chris was snoring after five minutes. "It's a gift". So, at 3:30 a.m., thirty minutes before my alarm was to go off I decided to get out of bed and take an extra long shower. In the shower I got emotional and was thanking God for the wonderful gift that I had been given again. I got to grow and carry a precious human being for nine months. Although it is not always pleasant, it is such a wonderful unique experience and I am so glad that I have gotten to experience it twice. At the end of a pregnancy you always count down the days until it is over. But then instantly (at least for me) I miss having the baby close, feeling every kick. I instantly want to do it all over again! I got out of the shower and soon after Chris was up. Mom arrived at 5 a.m. so we could make it to Parkland by 5:30. We didn't want to wake Ryan and Mom had offered to come over until Aunt Mis arrived at 7 a.m. so she could come to the hospital. The drive to the hospital I felt a lot of anxiety about the surgery. Chris made me laugh like he always does and I was able to calm down. We checked in at the Women's Elective Surgery Unit, and by 6 a.m. I was in a hospital gown and had an IV placed. The next two hours slowly went by. Luckily I had Chris there making me giggle (suited up in his throw away scrubs that reminded us of a painters outfit) and both of our moms and my good friend Kristi came by to see us before we headed to the OR. As they wheeled me down to the OR I was thinking about Ryan and that she was probably just about to wake up. I was so glad that she had Aunt Mis to play with her all day. I knew she would be having fun.

In the hallway outside the OR we saw Dr. Rosenbaum and I really began to get nervous. They asked Chris to wait in the hallway while they took me back to place my epidural and get me draped and prepped. Last time he was with me for everything, so I felt a tiny bit scared without him there. I was very relieved and numb by the time he was brought back. I was also glad that they put a drape up to block my view of the lights. I have terrible memories of Ryan's delivery when I looked up and saw my open abdomen in the reflection of the lights. This time I couldn't see anything so I just tried to focus on feeling the baby move inside me one last time. It is a weird sensation to not feel any pain as they cut into you but still be able to feel the pressure and movement of the baby. I once again got emotional and began crying realizing I wouldn't be able to feel that in a few minutes. This surgery seemed to last longer than Ryan's delivery. Ryan's delivery was emergent and I was also more out of it since I had been in labor all day and it was in the middle of the night. Dr. Rosenbaum also had to cut through scar tissue this second time and Emma seemed harder to pull out than Ryan. When they finally got her head out I felt tremendous pressure and a terrible pain in my right shoulder ( I have since learned that the shoulders are the spot for "referred" pain from the uterus- very interesting!). We were both waiting anxiously to hear if we had an Emma or a Luke and when they said "It's a girl" I began bawling. I was so happy to be blessed with another daughter. Her first cries sounded weak to me and Chris reassured me that they were suctioning her. Dr. Rosenbaum said that Emma had become a little stressed and pooped a little when they were using the forceps to pull her out so they were going to suction her well. Her cries soon became loud and clear and I was relieved that my baby sounded healthy. She scored an 8 and then five minutes later a perfect 9 on the Apgar! Chris was smiling from ear to ear and trying to get a few pictures of her first moments. I lay there dying to see what she looked like. After a few minutes Chris finally brought her over for me to see. I took one look at her and thought I had given birth to Ryan again! She looked so much like her. I instantly fell in love with sweet Emma Reese. After a quick family photo Emma was taken away and I was left lying on the OR table being sewn up. I wished that I could go with Chris to show her off to our family and friends. The anesthesiologist pushed a dose of Versed in my IV and I relaxed for the next 30 minutes while the surgery was finished. I remember waking up and looking down at my legs that I could not feel and almost felt foreign before the lifted me off the OR table and onto a stretcher to take me to the recovery room. They wheeled me past Chris who let me know that Emma was in the newborn nursery doing great and he was going to go be with her. Once in recovery all I wanted to know was what I had to do to get out of there so I could be moved to a room where Emma could be brought to me. My recovery room nurse let me know that I had to be able to move both my legs and lift my pelvis off the bed. She let me know that this usually took a couple of hours. I was determined to do it sooner. I had gotten to hold Emma for about 30 seconds and I was dying to really snuggle her and try to feed her. Slowly my abdomen began to burn and then ache. I was using my morphine pump every 6 minutes but it still was very painful. I didn't care though, I was so anxious to see a toe wiggle that I welcomed any sensation. When the pain increased to a 5/10 the nurse gave me an IV push of Toradol (which I LOVE) and it became bearable again. After an hour and a half I was able to move both legs and I could lift my pelvis off the bed. The nurse then gave me the bad news that although I met the requirements to leave the recovery room I would have to wait longer for my private room to become available. Torture. Finally at 1:00 in the afternoon I got to go to my room. After the awful experience of shifting myself from the stretcher to the bed I began demanding that Emma be brought to me. I couldn't wait any longer. Finally, they wheeled her in. She looked so angelic in a pink knitted sweater and matching hat. She was wide eyed, just like Ryan. I was so happy to finally have her with me. A bunch of family and friends began to arrive to see Emma. I began breastfeeding, which Emma picked up instantly, also just like Ryan. I decided I didn't want to use my morphine pump because I felt a little groggy. Minutes later I realized that Chris was hitting it every 6 minutes for me! He didn't want me to hurt. A few hours later (which are a little hazy, thank you Chris) Ryan arrived with Aunt Mis. I was so happy to see her and she was happy to see me. She paid a little of attention to Emma and then just wanted to snuggle on the bed with me. She opened her big sister gift, a Belle Barbie doll from Chris and I, and a set of instruments my parents had gotten for her. This was the last thing I remember before this day turned from the best to the worst. The next thing I remember I glanced down at Emma and noticed that she looked kind of gray. I said "what is wrong with her", right as she let out a horrible gasping squeal. My aunt said "I don't like the way that she looks". She reached over to feel for Emma's breath. I noticed that Emma was very still and the color around her mouth was turning to blue. I began to panic and my aunt ran from the room to get help. Chris took her from me to see what we were freaking about. He was calm at first and began to rub on her to try to arouse her. Then the nurse arrived and grabbed Emma from Chris. She quickly flipped her over and began to hit her on the back as she ran from the room. I began crying hysterically and Chris ran after the nurse. Everyone in the room was shocked and quiet. Mom quickly took Ryan home so she wouldn't have to witness me so upset any longer. I wanted to get out of the bed and run after her, but I couldn't. I had been told to stay in bed and not eat until 9 p.m. and I knew that if I tried to walk I couldn't. Finally Chris came back and told me that they had gotten Emma back and that she was heading to the newborn nursery to be monitored for 24 hours. She would not be returning to my room. I was heartbroken and also so worried. Ryan had never left our room in the hospital from the moment that she was brought to me. How could I stay in this room without Emma? Why had she turned blue? Was it my eyes playing tricks on me from the morphine or the dimness of the room or had she really been as blue as I remembered. Chris left to go be with her. I sat in my room feeling helpless and hurting. I had to get out of the bed and go with her. I let the nurse know that I needed a wheelchair immediately. She told me that she was sorry, but my doctor didn't want me getting out of bed until after 9 p.m. I politely told her that I was sorry but I needed a wheelchair or I would walk, or crawl to the newborn nursery to be with Emma. Minutes later (after calling my doctor) they brought me a wheelchair. It was extremely painful but I willed myself to stand and transfer to the wheelchair. I set my foley bag on my lap and Chris grabbed my morphine pump to push me down to the nursery. When we got there I couldn't believe that my sweet baby was in an isolette and hooked up to a pulse oximeter to measure her oxygen. All I wanted to do was hold her and feed her. They pulled a few curtains around Chris and I so we could hold her. She looked perfect and completely back to normal. I started to try to convince myself that this nightmare was over. She was fine. It was just a weird one time event and it would never happen again. After I finished breastfeeding her I passed her to Chris to burp. The next thing I knew her monitors began beeping. Chris became panicked and said she was doing it again. He pushed the curtain aside and frantically looked for and then yelled for a nurse to help us. Finally an nurse came over and took Emma from Chris. She quickly tried to run to a treatment room with her but her monitors were still attached. So after she got the monitors disconnected she finally ran to the back with her. Once they got her back to breathing the Nurse Practitioner came and met with Chris and I. She let us know that they were going to do a chest x-ray, draw blood cultures and start antibiotics on Emma because infection is the number one cause for newborn apnea. Although they had no indication that Emma had an infection (she was not tachycardic and had no temperature) they wanted to go ahead and start antibiotics just in case. I got to give her a quick kiss before the chest x-ray was done. The NP informed us that the preliminary read of the chest x-ray showed a small amount of fluid in Emma's lungs. She explained that this can be from the delivery and that although pneumonia could not be completely ruled out she did not feel that Emma had it. She told us that they would start antibiotics and continue to watch Emma overnight. She did let us know that if Emma had another apneic event she would be transferred to the NICU. Chris pulled the NP aside and let her know how unimpressed he was with the slow response that had happened when Emma's monitors went off. He was adamant that Emma be watched more closely and that the amount of time that it took for anyone to respond was unacceptable. The NP apologized and reassured us that Emma would be watched closely. Chris took me back to the room to get a pain pill and rest for a few minutes. He and my mom also made me eat before I went back to the newborn nursery at midnight to feed Emma. When we went back to the nursery I was so relieved to hear that Emma had been just fine, no more episodes. I fed her and she ate well, Chris burped her and she was just fine. I once again convinced myself that she was going to be okay and that after a night in the nursery she would be back in our room. The NP told us to go get some rest and if anything else happened she promised she would come tell us. I was so exhausted. It had been almost 48 hours since I had slept. I knew that I needed to rest in order to heal. The RN took my morphine pump away and gave me pain medication to sleep. I lay in bed and cried until I fell asleep. At 2 a.m. Chris and I had been asleep for maybe an hour when there was a knock on the door and the NP came in to let us know that it had happened again and Emma was being transferred to the NICU. I was in disbelief. Was this really happening? I started to get up to go to Emma but the NP told us that we had to wait until 3 a.m. so that they could get Emma set up in the NICU before we would be allowed to see her. Finally 3 a.m. came and Chris pushed me down to see our daughter in the NICU. A place I never wanted to go. A place I never thought I would have to go to see my child. My healthy full term baby that I had just been holding. When we got to the NICU Emma's nurse told us that they were about to put a numbing cream on her back to get ready for the lumbar puncture that they were going to do after the cream was on for thirty minutes. A lumbar puncture? On my tiny baby who had only been outside of me for 19 hours. I couldn't believe it. Chris and I looked at each other with disbelief. Was this really happening? The doctor came by to explain to us that they wanted to do a full septic work up on Emma to see if any infection was the reason for her quitting breathing. They also wanted to make sure that she didn't have a bleed in the brain or meningitis. Two things that the results of the lumbar puncture would be able to identify. We got to hold her for a few minutes and then they took her away to put a needle in her tiny spine. When they brought her back they told us that she had barely cried. Such a tough little girl. I got to hold her again, but then I had to leave her. We went back to the room and I fell apart again. Chris was quiet. He looked so tired and worried. We laid down for a few minutes and then got up again to go back to the NICU so I could feed her again. They let us know that Emma had another episode and this time it took longer to stimulate her and get her to breathe and they had to give her oxygen. I was devastated. She was in an isolette with an IV in her arm and hooked up to a monitor measuring her heart rate, oxygen saturation and respiration rate. We stayed with her most the day and it happened three more times. One time when I was holding her. The longest 44 seconds of my life as we stood back and watched them try to get her to breath. Her oxygen saturation dropped to the 30's (normal is 100). I remember tears streaming down my face and yelling "hurry, hurry". The nurses in the NICU were phenomenal and reacted quickly and were able to get her back, but it seemed to take forever. Two times it happened we were not around, we had to go back to the room to get pain meds and while the doctors rounded on Emma. One of the other times (the last that occurred on Saturday at 2:00 in the afternoon) happened while my mom was sitting with Emma while Chris and I ran back to the room to try to rest for an hour. After that episode the RN decided to leave Emma on an incline and on her side to see if it helped. That was the last time she quit breathing thankfully. I could not take my eyes from the monitors though. I just kept waiting for the next episode. We met with her doctors and they let us know that all of the preliminary tests had come back negative for infection. They would continue the antibiotics until the 48 hour results came back to make sure that they did not grow anything. Emma's neonatologist, Dr. Sanchez, told us that her exam was normal and that he could not find anything wrong with her besides the fluid seen on her chest x-ray. He didn't want to assume that this was the cause without ruling out all other possibilities first. He also mentioned that some newborns go through a transitional period where they forget to breathe, but that they usually do fine after a couple of days and that sometimes a cause is never identified. This bothered Chris and I. We wanted an explanation, a diagnosis, a reason that our baby had quit breathing seven times. How could we ever take her home and feel comfortable if we didn't know what the cause was? How could we prevent it from happening again? I began to think that maybe it was due to reflux. Emma did seem to spit up a lot. Or at least more than Ryan ever did. One of the nurses, Michelle, seemed to believe that reflux may be the cause too. That is why she had put Emma on an incline and on her side. And since Emma did not have any episodes once she was positioned at an incline and on her side I felt like that must be the cause. Either way they wanted to watch her for 3-5 days to see if it happened again and to get all the test results back. They also planned to do a head sonogram on her. Saturday evening I hit rock bottom. I still hadn't slept, I had cried all day. I looked and felt awful. I didn't want to talk to anyone. All I wanted to do was sit with my baby and pray that she was okay. My milk hadn't come in and I was trying to feed her every 2 hours. I was hurting all over and I knew that I couldn't continue this way or I would be useless to Emma. I agreed to stay in my room and take an Ambien to help me sleep after Emma's 10-o-clock feeding. I would wake up to pump milk for her at 1 and 4 a.m. but Chris would take it down to her and I would stay in bed and rest. I ate a huge delicious meal that my Aunt Mis brought for us and I finally laid down to really rest. I finally slept, in two hour intervals, but I slept from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. I got up and showered and ate some breakfast and went to Emma. She had had a good night! No episodes! Thank God! I was so happy. I felt relief that maybe it was finally over. I spent most of the day with Emma. Chris was right by my side. We weren't allowed to be in the NICU during the doctors rounds from 9-12, but we were there, or a family member was there all the other time. She had another good day and the doctor told us that her exam remained normal. I began walking to the NICU instead of being pushed in the wheelchair. The NICU is in the very south side of the hospital and my room was on the very north side. It was hard at first and I felt very winded, but it was quicker than the wheelchair. My milk came in on Sunday and I started to feel like we were gonna make it through this nightmare. Emma was breastfeeding well every 3 hours and seemed to be more alert. Emma had lots of visitors and many family and friends brought us lots of good food and snacks. We were missing Ryan so much and I felt like I was in better shape to see her. My mom brought her up and Chris and I got to spend some time eating and playing with her. She was too young to visit Emma so my Mom sat and held Emma while we spent time with Ryan. It was so good to see her. I felt so sad when she said "mommy hold you" asking me to pick her up and I couldn't. But Chris picked her up and set her in my lap. Ryan and Chris had fun running around outside and I enjoyed watching them. It was hard to see her go. I had planned on only being away from her for two nights. I had thought that we would all be going home on Sunday.

Monday Emma had her head sonogram and we got all the final test results back. All labs came back normal. Emma did not have an infection. All the nurses loved her and would fight over who got to take care of her. She was such an easy baby. She never cried and we came down and did all of her feedings except the 1 and 4 a.m. which I would pump milk for her to have. She never needed formula. Dr. Sanchez said he wanted to watch her for a few more days, but that he felt confident that she had been in a transitional period those first 48 hours and didn't expect another episode to occur. We were so happy! I began to worry that I would get discharged and Emma would have to stay. I talked to Dr. Rosenbaum and she approved for me to stay another day to be with Emma. I began hoping that Emma would be allowed to leave Tuesday so we could all leave together. I mentioned it to the doctor but he didn't make any promises. They took her IV out and moved her into a regulat bassinet. Emma continued to have many visitors throughout the day and we got to see Ryan again in the waiting room!

On Tuesday Chris went home to take a load of our stuff and get Murph from the kennel where we boarded him. I sat with Emma in the morning until 9 when I had to leave because of rounds. I wished that I could be there to hear what Dr. Sanchez said. I rushed back down at noon, with Dr. Rosenbaum with me. She also wanted to hear if Emma was going to get to go home. She wasn't sure how she would be able to get away with keeping me in the hospital another day. When we walked into the NICU Dr. Sanchez and his team were still there. Dr. Sanchez had the best news for me! He told me that Emma was doing so well he felt that she was ready to go home! I started crying and Dr. Rosenbaum and I hugged and then I hugged Dr. Sanchez. (Looking back I hope I didn't leak milk on him!) I looked at Emma and noticed that she was off the monitors! I couldn't believe it! I have never been happier! I called Chris and told him the news! Not only was he going to be able to pick me up today but Emma too!

By 4:00 in the afternoon both Emma and I were discharged from Parkland. We bundled her up because it was 16 degrees outside! Chris came to get us in the truck and we headed home on the icey roads. My parents brought Ryan over right away and we began our life at home as a family of four. It is so wonderful!

Emma is one week old today and doing well. She is such a content baby. She hardly ever fusses and sleeps so well at night. She has been sleeping in a "Snuggle Nest" in between Chris and I. Her Grandpa bought us a co-sleeper that goes next to our bed that we will try out tonight. I set my phone alarm to wake me every 3 hours to feed her. She is usually sound asleep, but ready to eat when I wake her. She has started napping in her own room in her crib. It is hard to not always keep an eye on her but we are trying to back off. We do go in and check on her often. I hope to have her sleeping in her own room by March.

Ryan is also doing well and starting to adjust to having Emma at home. She brings me diapers and says "baby cry" when Emma cries. She does like to take Emma's pacifier away. But I can't blame her since they use the same ones! (Yes, Ryan still prefers the Nuk 0-6 month old pacifiers!) It is so nice having Chris home for so much time! This definitely feels like a two person job. I am not sure how I am going to manage when Feb. 21 rolls around and he goes back to work. (Thank goodness that my mom will be close by to help!)

We got out for the first time yesterday. It is snowy and icey here so it has been easy to stay at home in our pajamas! We went and had Emma's newborn pictures taken and then left the girls with Mamaw while Chris and I went to the mall and to Target. I realized today that I may have overdone it. Being only six days since my surgery I wasn't quite ready for all of that walking. I was sore all night. I am back in my pj's today trying to take it easy.

I plan on continuing this blog and keeping a record of my two girls lives. I am not the best at baby books (Emma doesn't even have one!) so I see this as a form of record. Chris and I feel so fortunate to get to have these two sweet little girls. We are also very thankful for all of the love and support that our family and friends have given us this past week. We are happy to be home and healthy and also very grateful for the excellent care that Emma received at Parklands NICU. I have never been more impressed with a staff or a unit as I was with the NICU. I don't want to forget the nurses who took such good care of Emma. Some of our favorites were: Kiersten, Michelle, Fara and Nancy. I never hope to be in a situation again where I have a child in the NICU, but if I do I want it to be at Parkland. There is definitely a reason they are the best.

So, after reading this novel, get ready for a bunch of pictures!

Ready and waiting to meet our baby

Keeping me smiling :)

Soon to be parents of two
Parkland uses the big 18 gauge needles! Ouch!

Last prego profile picture. I am huge!

The painter

Kristi came by to see me before surgery!

Mamaw ready to meet the new baby

Gran is also ready!

In the middle of surgery

"It's a girl!"

So happy!

Emma Reese Ivie

Looking A LOT like Ryan!

First time to hold her

All we are missing is Ryan!

She was sucking on her thumb in the nursery

Chris showing off his newest daughter to our family and friends.

When I first saw this picture I couldn't tell if it was Emma or Ryan!

So sweet

I love this blanket that Emma got in the nursery.

Chris said they must have been saving the best blanket for the cutest baby!

I finally really get to hold her!

I am in love

Gran with Emma

Unc Unc and Emma

Mamaw and Emma

Miss Ryan Layne here to meet her sister

Belle!

She was such a sweet little snuggler

Chris changing Emma's diaper for the first time

First family picture together!

Ryan wasn't too interested in the photo shoot!

He is in love

Ryan with her Aunt Rox playing instruments

Scared to death, holding Emma in the nursery after the first episode

Papa with Emma in the NICU

Such a sweet face

Hooked up to the monitors and with an IV :-(

Kristi and Emma

Grandpa and Emma

Mamaw and Emma

A much needed visit and snuggle from Ryan

Hanging with her Daddy in the hallway outside of the NICU

Playing on my hospital bed

Getting some fresh air

I love watching them together

Gramma with Emma

Aunt Mis and Emma

In the NICU

Emma had this ridge on her skull from where it hadn't closed.

Totally normal is what all the nurses told me. Chris was calling her "Ruffles".

Today it is totally gone.

She is so tiny in her Daddy's hands

Dr. Rosenbaum came down to the NICU to meet Miss Emma

She was styling!

Out of the isolette and into a bassinet.

The pink teddy bear was a gift from her big sister.

Gas grin

Pouty lip like Ryan had!

Emma has the sweetest Daddy

Love this picture!

I spent many hours rocking her in this chair in the NICU

Headed home!

So happy that we get to leave together!

Car ride home

Ryan seeing her sister

Family of four

All of the wonderful flowers from the hospital

The picture of Ryan that I had in my hospital room (thanks Mom!)

What mornings now look like at the Ivie house

Sisters

What Chris likes to do on paternity leave