Back to Semi Reality

I have finished two days of part time work. Today is Tuesday, but it is also my Friday. I am off the next two days, then working Friday, and off again for three days! I think I am gonna be able to adjust to this! If I had to work tomorrow I would feel a bit panicked that all of the girls laundry is still waiting to be put away, that all of my pump parts are sitting in the sink waiting to be cleaned, that we are running low on milk and cat food........ The list would go on and on. But I don't have to work tomorrow. So, I had no problem enjoying dinner out back with my sweet husband and girls, chasing Ry around the backyard, reading books as a family in bed, and now cracking a beer on the couch since the kids are asleep. I am not panicked and stressed because everything I would need to get done tonight (along with getting to bed early) can be done tomorrow AND I can sleep in with Chris until 9ish when our girls wake up! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I did miss my kids the past two days but it was not as hard to go back knowing that it is part time. It is also easy to leave the girls because I only have to leave them with their dad or Mamaw. They are having fun while I am at work. I also enjoyed seeing my co-workers and patients and getting to have adult conversations!


Here is the note that I wrote to my Emma girl.


Sweet Emma,

What a joy you are. Getting to spend the past twelve weeks with you has been priceless. We were both there for each other when we needed it most. I only left you in the NICU when I had to. I felt like I was leaving a piece of myself every time. I was so thankful and relieved that I did not have to leave the hospital without you. I still am unsure if I would have been able to do that. I think I would have slept in the PT department. We got to go home together and then I got sick and we were back at Parkland. I was devastated because I thought we were going to be separated. But once again I was relieved to learn that you could stay with me. You never left my side. Even though I was very ill I had you to make me smile and give me a purpose. I had to take care of you. You were such a good girl. You snuggled with me and hardly made a peep. Whenever I felt depressed I would hold you and feel better. I got better and once again we went home. Together.

Thanks for making me feel so special all of the time. When you see me and smile it makes my day. We have a special bond. We are there for each other when we need it most. Thank you little buddy. I'll always be here for you. I love you so much.

Mommy