12/14/12

This is a day that I will never forget.  It will be a "flash bulb" memory for me forever.  I have started to write this post a few different times but it has been too painful.  My heart is so broken for the families that lost precious children in this horrific shooting.

I had dropped off my loves at school and headed to yoga.  It was the day that Chris was coming home from Colorado.  I had made it! After working three consecutive days and attempting to cook dinner and keep the house together by myself for a week I was very eager to be on my yoga mat.  I had a great class and left class on a yoga high. I felt peaceful and regenerated. I had no idea of the tragedy that had just occurred.  I ended up first hearing about "a shooting in Connecticut" on Facebook.  All I learned at this point was that a shooting had happened at a school.  I drove home and turned on the news.  And that is when I learned just how horrendous this tragedy was.  The devastating facts:  an elementary school, children killed.  I saw the images of parents rushing to the local fire station to pick up their children who made it out and then I heard the unimaginable.  There were twenty sets of parents who rushed to the fire station to learn that their child didn't make it out.  I got goose bumps all over and began sobbing uncontrollably. I was in complete disbelief.  Trying to imagine that deep visceral pain, emptiness and devastation that those poor parents must have felt.  And, imagining the horror that those children must have experienced in their last moments.  I had never been more deeply affected by a tragedy than I was when I learned of the Connecticut shooting.  I ended up turning off the t.v. and getting on my knees and crying out to God.  Why?????? Why do these people have to experience this loss?  Why does a 6 year old ever have to die?  Why does a parent have to learn how to live without their child?  I started begging God to comfort the families because I couldn't imagine how they would go on.

That day 2:30 couldn't come fast enough and I  was so happy to wrap my arms around my sweet girls. I cried at both classrooms when I saw their sweet, innocent faces light up when they saw me.  I was reminded once again that twenty sets of parents would not get to pick up their darling babies from school.  What a blessing to have my girls.  Every second, of everyday.

This is one of many poems that was written about that day.  This one gives me comfort.

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring:
Those children all flew into the arms of their King,
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had,
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below,
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe,

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!
May this country be delivered from the hands of fools
I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA